A new month brings several new changes.

Okay, one of the things I swore to myself from the beginning is full honesty and transparency when it comes to this blog. I don’t know how many people actually read anything I post here, as I view it as an online journal of sorts, but I wanted to be honest with anyone who has stuck with me. So, here goes nothing.

I feel completely and utterly burned out. I feel like I’ve been using reading as a competition of sorts and have let myself get stressed out over reading goals. I’ve been using the publication dates of books I’m ARC reading for as hard deadlines and this isn’t healthy in the least.

I was afraid this would happen, as this has happened before, but I still couldn’t see it coming. After putting the new Scarlett St Clair novel aside REPEATEDLY for books I was ARC reading for, when I found the Scarlett St Clair novel incredibly addicting, should have been a red flag but I still didn’t see it coming.

I’m cringing now, obviously, but I know I’m going to have to step back from the hustle culture that I’ve been trying to push myself back into. Reading isn’t a competition and it isn’t the end of the world when I don’t finish an ARC before its publication date. I can take as much time as I need. I can even rent some of the ARCs through Kindle Unlimited and read them that way.

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It still hasn’t hit me yet, in some ways, that I can do things the way I want to do it instead of doing whatever I think other people think is best. If I’m trying to do things that other people have done, it won’t be as fun for me because I’d be spending too much time rebelling against it. That’s no fun, now, is it? lol

I think I’ve tried running my author service provider business that way and the same thing can be said for this blog. I’m not viewing it as MINE the way I should be viewing it. The awareness comes in waves and I’m sometimes more aware of it than other times, unfortunately.

That is what must change, moving forward. Sometimes we need to give ourselves some grace and say that it’s okay to run our lives the way WE see fit, rather than taking other people’s advice as gospel. I need to run my business and my personal life by this advice more often, huh? I really do need to take my own advice from time to time. lmao

Am I going to learn this lesson all over again? Of course I will! I wouldn’t be surprised if I sit down after my personal life settles down and actually remodel this website in its entirety. There is nothing wrong with that, of course. I’m just not completely happy with the copywriting and the way it looks at the moment.

At the end of the day, I want to help the authors who put books out and change so many lives with the written word. I want to help the community who has helped me so. much since I started reading again in late 2023. I know I’m out of touch with a lot of the community since I tend to be introverted but I’m trying my best here. Bear with me. lol

I’m not putting strict timelines on when I publish on my blog or on social media. If I have a day where I don’t want to post on Instagram or on Threads, then I won’t do so. If I have a week where I don’t want to write a blog post, then I won’t do so. I’m not going to force myself when the mood to write or publish isn’t there.

I want to create a personal brand that shows who I really am as a person since I believe that’s the goal in the end. I want people to see who I truly am instead of hiding behind the facade that I’ve been told repeatedly to hide behind. No more hiding for me…EVER.

My book reviews on Goodreads and Fable are still going to be a thing, of course. I’m never going to stop doing the book reviews as I finish the books I’m reading. I’m just going to be taking my sweet time when it comes to reading the books I actually want to read. I’m also not putting a filter on anything I say or feel when reading. If I want to swear in a book review, then I will.

The same thing goes for this blog. I’ve always had a problem with a filter when it comes to opening my mouth so I think about what I say before I say it when I’m in a public or professional setting. I will not be changing that, in an obvious note, but I will be changing how I respond to things in my personal life.

I will also not be putting a word count restriction on my blog posts. I won’t be structuring them the way I’ve seen so many “experts” recommend for people. Will this be a problem? Yes, I can see people having a problem with it. I know that I won’t be changing how I write here. If I’m writing a guest blog post on someone else’s blog, I’ll pay more attention to their writing guidelines.

The biggest thing I want to change is how I approach gaining new clients on the business side of things in my personal brand. I don’t want it to feel slimy anymore. I don’t want to be the annoying person sending everyone cold emails. I’m not saying I’ve sent any because I haven’t. I refuse to do it now, after seeing both sides of it. It’s just gross.

I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be afraid to check my email inbox and I refuse to annoy people any further. I don’t want to be seen as slimy and disingenuous, which is exactly what happens when you send that cold emails. I’ve learned that the hard way from when I was a freelance writer. I won’t be making that mistake again.

I know some people have luck with it but I’m just not one of those people. I’m too introverted and feel there are more genuine ways to create a bond with the people who need help the most. I want to do what feels good for me, at the end of the day, and it’s not slimy marketing tactics. Not again.

So, yeah, I want things to change in both my professional life and my personal life. Was this a bookish post? Not in the way I originally intended. But, you know what? I think that’s perfectly okay. I have no problem with it and feel much better about this post than when I sat down to write it. I’m keeping it the way it is because I don’t see anything wrong with it. It’s all me.